Keeping Up with River Road

Numerically, Richmond is not a small town. But spend a little time there and you’ll feel as if it is. At a church coffee hour today, my babysitting client introduced me to a friend of hers. “I’ve heard so much about you,” the woman said as she shook my hand. She wasn’t just being polite.

As much as I’d like to believe that this was due to my babysitting client loudly bragging on my behalf, I know that’s not entirely the case. For every time she mentioned my name, I guarantee there were double that number of follow-up questions. Casual small talk? Oh, darling. Haven’t you learned anything of this women’s world? Politeness always has a purpose. Richmond loves to pry.

In a time when most newspapers are struggling to print full editions, the Richmond Times-Dispatch has four full-color pages of society news. And the housing transfers section? Two pages, 8 pt font. And just in case the sale price isn’t enough to stimulate the weekly goss, the buyers’ names are also listed. You’ll know your new neighbors and what they can afford.

Everybody knows everyone and everyone knows everything. As a friend of mine jokingly explained it, “Richmond’s incestuous.” But more seriously, she’s half right. We go to the grocery, and we see her sister’s best friend. We go to the bookstore, and we see her high school prom date. She can’t know everyone, and yet it seems to be true: Regardless of how far out of the neighborhood we go, we run in to someone she knows. And this is a self-proclaimed introvert.

My friend is earnest, genuine, and down-to-earth. She admits the social circles can be catty and says she tries to avoid gossip when she can. But sometimes the temptation is too much to resist. When a friend texts her and insinuates that something has happened to Hettie, she immediately picks up the phone.

“I know this is bad,” she says, “but I have got to know.”

Not to worry. Her friend completely understands. Two minutes later, and she’s got the scoop.